3 years!

Amazing how time flies. It is 3 years ago since we got this wonderful gift of a new family member. Our little miracle is getting big and still, not a day passes by without thanking our surrogate, N, our doctors, Dr. Sudhir Ajja and dr. Yashodhara Mhatre with the superb team of Surrogacy India.

The uncertain legal situation in India makes me so happy over that we never waited with our surrogacy process. Today everything is so much more complicated and I'm not even sure we could. It sure is a strange development.

To tell you the truth, I still miss Mumbai very much. Even though it's been a while - and feels so too - I somehow feel very close to the country anyway. I highly cherish my brother, Sudhir, how we have kept in touch.

Erik. Our wonderful Erik. He is a little humorous guy. Still extremely interested in cars, tractors and all other kind of vechicles. He sings so well, loves to snuggle. He is a mommy's boy which makes his daddy somewhat sad and maybe even a bit jealous. As it comes to diapers, we practiced the whole summer with varying results. In the beginning of September, anyhow, while eating dinner, I mentioned for Erik that Santas Little Helpers were already peeking in the window to see if the children behave. Unexpectedly, this became a source of motivation for our little guy. He declared that he wished SO SO much for a HUGE truck from Santa and that he would go to the potty every time. The next morning he refused to wear his pull-ons and I quickly had to gather 5 pairs of underwear, pants and socks to bring to the daycare. Everything has went very smoothly since then.

I can, of course, not make a post without writing about our 5-years old Jennifer, too! Our lovely little clever girl. I am so amazed of how you have grown into such a wonderful human being. I love your flexibility, musicality, thoughtfulness and how emphatetic you truly are. Jennifer has finally started to read, too. Not fast and not very well, but still, she understands how it's done and is very interested. You go, girl!

Our little Lucia who sang so beautifully on December 13th. 

Well, Erik had to try it on, too :)

<3 <3 <3

Christmas 2014

Mommy gets a big hug on New Years Eve. 

On December 1st, we had to say our last goodbye to our beloved four-legged friend and family member, Bessie. She was almost 12 years but still going strong, guarding us every single moment. She went through an uterus surgery (due to an uterus infection it was removed along with ovaries) in August and recovered pretty well. Nevertheless she never totally stopped bleeding  and suffered from several urinary tract infections post operation. On December 1st we went to the vet because of  increased bleeding. She was slightly sedated in order to be able to look for the reason and was diagnosed with uterine fibroids, an easy thing to fix in her case. Unfortunately, also a huge spleen tumor was discovered and she was put to sleep immediately. Of course, it has been a sad time for all of us but we are so glad that the whole family could be there, next to her as she passed on to a better place.

Bessie, in August 2014, a few weeks after her surgery.

Diwali!

Probably the best daughter in the World!

Today is a very, very special day. 5 years ago, an extremely sweet little girl was born. The best job I've ever done -carrying and giving birth to my firstborn, our JENNIFER.

Every day with you is a blessing. Every night I sing my Estonian lullaby for you, I look at you and feel so grateful to be your mother. You are such a ray of sunshine in our lives. You are a fantastic person, thoughtful, clever and smart. I admire your flexibility and your wonderful way of including everyone around you to play and explore the world. You sing so beautifully and I think you've given the singing bug to your little brother, too :) We love your versatility and creativity as you draw, paint, glue and create loads of art every single day (and we thank IKEA of Sweden for all the pens, pencils, paint, papers, aprons and everything else we need, without being totally ruined, haha).
When  it was time for you to choose a theme for your first birthday party with your friends, we were  afraid sure you would suggest something pink and "princessy". Instead, you surprised us totally with your Halloween Birthday party idea, out of nowhere. (In Sweden, Halloween is not celebrated that much and we still don't know where you got this idea). Nevertheless, we were just as excited as you and thank the Amazing Internet for diversity of Halloween decorations and stuff. So much fun :)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JENNIFER! THANK YOU FOR BEING OUR WONDERFUL LITTLE GIRL!

Posing in a new dress, made by my mother

Our little doc. Doctor's coat made by my mother as well!

<3 <3 <3

Wherever I am...

Just like most of my fellow bloggers who were racing their surrogacy road about the same time as us, my posts don't come that often any more. But I'm still here, believe me.
I'm currently 1200 km North from home, in Umeå. It's a wonderful city in the North of Sweden. I've been here this week for finishing my studies at Umeå University and can now titulate myself as an advanced level diabetes nurse specialist. I'm very excited about it, I have  learned so much. When I first came to Umeå in the beginning of April (for one week of lectures and training), I had never been here before. Today, I must admit, I'm a big fan of this town. I kinda thought it would be lots of people who hardly ever speak (well, that's what people in the South of Sweden think of those up in North), really cold and boring. I understand that the weather part has been a fortuity but all my preconceptions were noncence. People here are really talkative (but the dialect is really differenent, being very charming with its characteristic melody), the weather has been wonderful and the town is nothing but dull. As you may have noticed, Sweden is  narrow (maximum width is only about 500km)  but long (stretching 1572km from North to South).  One very funny thing I've noticed here, is that people in the Northern part of the country have equally poor awareness about Southern Sweden as we living in South are of North. This became especially distinct when a university lecturer referred to Gothenburg as a town in the very South of Sweden. Well, Gothenburg is about 350km northwest from where I live. It kind of made me wonder if I was considered as Danish according to her :)

Initially and especially during my first week here, I was a bit worried about how Jennifer and Erik would handle me being away for so many days. It turned out very well and hearing their happy voices and seeing them via FaceTime has been as a balm for my soul. My husband rocks as a  full-time dad.

So, what made me write the title of this post? During this week I have realized something a bit odd but maybe not surprising about myself: Wherever I go, I always look for India. I look for Indian restaurants, those little asian stores on narrow streets, I wear Indian clothes, shoes and a bindi etc. Wearing a bindi makes me feel complete in a strange way that I am unable to explain. Eating kulfi and drinking chai makes me happy as a child on Christmas Eve. Call me silly if you please!

Yesterday, I had the pleasure of visiting a wonderful couple that we met in Mumbai, during our second trip, when Erik was a newborn. It was such a joy to see their twins smiling at me. Such perfect little miracles! So nice to speak to people who share so many experiences with me. No explanations needed, whether it's  about waiting for ultrasound reports, doorkeeper at the Rodas hotel, or visiting FRRO.

Our kids are growing crazy kind of fast. I can't understand how they have managed to turn 4,5 and (soon) 2,5 while I'm not that much older. Jennifer is a wonderful, happy girl who loves the trampoline, strawberries and drawing. She is friends with everyone at the preschool and loved by her friends.

 Erik is a great talker. He expresses himself in long centences, using adjectives and words like "unfortunately". He is still crazy about vehicles. Still a biter - at least when getting tired. He loves water and both kids have attended swimming lessons during the past semester which as been lots of fun. In the beginning of April, Erik got a big-boy bed. He was so happy and proud about it. Initially, we sat next to him until he fell asleep, just to avoid bringing up the habit of getting up. We have always sought a clear evening routine. Nowadays, Erik and Jennifer  listen to a storybook, hear one Swedish and one Estonian lullaby and then go to each room and bed. Some nights Erik wakes up in very early morning and wants to come to our bed, which is ok. Jennifer always sleeps through the night. Aah, and I almost forgot - Erik is really good at potty training, too. It was sometime in early April, I think, when he understood the point of going to the toilet. He still wears pull-ons during nights and at daycare (in order to make it easier for the staff). But at home he is really good at taking care of that business. Nevertheless, he is not that fond of underwear and prefers to run around without any pants at all. Also, when wearing underwear, he sometimes still forgets that he is not having pull-ons and accidents do happen because of that. We need to stop using diapers, a vacation project :)

Erik with daddy and his beloved teddybear, Noni.

Just a few new pictures :)

Bath fun

So so proud Erik for me letting him walk Bessie

Small legs need a little help on their way to the top

When the first snow FINALLY came, I could'nt resist to, after shoveling our drive,
 play a bit on my own :) My snow lantern

Our street by night

Snowman: done!

In our backyard

Two happy ones

Sledding is FUN!

Look who's wearing briefs!
Potty is still not fun but  he likes the big boy underwear and that's my plan :)

Little Viking's big day

This morning when I woke up in order to get ready for a working day, my head and heart were filled with amazing memories from this day 2 years ago. How we standed outside the operation room doors, holding Jennifer and waiting for OUR new baby to be put into our arms by dr. Yashodhara. I still get tears in my eyes when I think of the moment when I spotted her coming towards us. If you have standed there, you know what I mean! I remember the true joy that I saw in the eyes of dr. Yash and dr. Sudhir. I remember the first time I kissed and inhaled (yes!) my Little Viking and how proud it felt to say his name out loud to the nurse who needed to fill in some papers.

ERIK JOHN ANDERS,

we are so proud and happy to have you. Today you are a big boy, weighting 14kg, with 20 teeth and a huge obsession of everything that rolls. You already sing beautifully and I can tell that you will be a very good singer. You speak so very well and understand so much about life.

 HAPPY, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Erik with his beloved Noni
Photo by photographer Johan Lindvall

Our birthday boy driving his tractor and Jennifer cheering :)

My self-made tractor- birthday cake

Blowing out his candles

And last but not the least - Princess Sister Jennifer :)

It's time for celebrations!

SHUBH DIWALI!

A fresh 4-year-old!

Yesterday was Jennifer's 4th birthday. We celebrated a wonderful day with her and had extended familiy  visiting in the afternoon/evening. I believe she was very happy :)

The day before her birthday Jennifer bursted out that she loooonged for her birthday to come. I asked her what exactly she was waiting for (thinking she would probably long for presents). "I'm longing for my birthday, because everybody will come to visit and they will sing for me and say happy birthday" :)

Our little peanut, we love you SO much and feel incredibly blessed for having the honor of being your parents. Thank you for the laughter, love and sunshine you bring into our lives. For the challenges to learn from. For loving music and singing just as much as we dreamed of!

Early morning birthday gift, a new bunny that works :)

A very busy doc mcStuffins :) No time for posing AT ALL. I saw that she pushed the stetoscope's heart button several times, looking at her favourite toys, kind of hoping for them to wake up. She knew it wouldn't happen but still couldn't resist to try. What if it works?
 My mother herself has sewn the doctors coat for Jennifer!

Jennifer wished for a birthday cake with butterflies and ladybugs. Here it is! Home made from scratch. (But the decoration is from amazon)

19 months, news and a summer review

I know, I know, it's a looong time ago since I wrote. Or maybe you haven't even noticed because just like us, you are busy with your babies growing faster than you run.

Our babies are doing just fine. Jennifer is enjoying her summer vacation and Erik is still unaware about his pre-school career soon to begin. As probably most children, they too have developed so much during these months. In the beginning of the summer we got ourselves a trampoline. It has been great for them - Jennifer is now a much better climber and Erik has fantastic balance for his age. He jumps, climbs and skips as a much older child. Erik has developed quite a vocabulary, especially when it comes to vehicles. He is passionate about tractors. Most days, "Tatto" is his first and last word. He is a very quick learner and immediately tries to immitate what you're saying or doing. He's still a biter and a pincher. He runs really fast and manages stairs so well. Even the ladder up to the trampoline is nemas problemas! Both I and my husband are daily fascinated by how much of a "boy" he is. Jennifer has never been as girlish like he is boyish. Still, he has been exposed to same toys from beginning.

Both children have been playing a lot with water - both in our backyard aswell as on the beach.

We have made several sea tours watching my father-in-law baiting eel. I'm so proud and happy that my children get to see and experience this old craftmanship that might be lost forever sooner than we can imagine. There are only few in Sweden who are permitted to caugh eel. My father-in-law is one of them.

Jennifer helping grandfather 

Checking out a plaice

Checking out a boat. Very apreciated.

Three generations in the same boat <3

Besides staying close to the sea, we have also been to the Astrid Lindgren World in Vimmerby. You know, this fantastic lady who wrote the books about Pippi Longstocking, Karlsson-on-the-Roof, Children of Noisy Village and Emil of Lönneberga. We had so much fun and our kids were so happy and SO exhausted after two whole days there.

The show at Pippi's house

Jennifer Longstocking

Jenni-Pippi

Jennifer, dressed as Emil's little sister, Ida.

Jennifer also has taken a few horseback riding lessons, which we both enjoyed very much.

She's a natural, if you ask me. Here with a shetland pony "Lisa".
Jennifers favourite horse at the riding school.

My parents visited us during 2 weeks in July. Wonderful days!
Here's Jennifer with my mother

Painting our windows

Erik with my father

Enjoying watermelon in our backyard

This summer really has been fantastic when it comes to weather. Most people can't even remember when we had such a sunny and warm summer last time. It's also my last summer on maternity leave. EVER. Wow!, I better don't think of it in this way during these last weeks of freedom. It's a new beginning and maybe one could also say that we are going to take a step into the real world, being two working parents and children at pre-school. Most people do it. But for us it was going to be a bit extra tricky due to our working hours. With my husband working as a medical sales rep., he often travelles with very short notice. Making a monthly or even a weekly schedule for him is rather complicated since most operations and procedures that he needs to attend (in order to guide doctors) are planned from day to day. Considering my own extremely early or late (or whole night) working hours at the hospital and the lack of family members/friends who coud step in and leave or pick up our children at the pre-school, one of us must work part time.  Due to the salary, it's me. Believe me, I don't mind at all. But I'm sick and tired of being poor. The one who rarely has own money. That's me.

So, at the same time as I was looking forward to start working 50% at my hospital ward again, I also dreamed of either finding a job in India or Bangladesh and take my family for a year or two abroad. Or a job, closer to my home, with "normal" working hours so that I could earn more. I sent so many emails and got wonderful help from our friends abroad, too.(Thank you SO SO much!) I was even offered a very interesting job in Dhaka but the thing was, it was voluntary. Almost no salary at all. Sadly, we could not afford it.
And then something very weird happened one morning. I got a phone call from a lady who said that she called from our local health centre. She had got a tip about calling me from her colleague (who used to be our childrens nurse). She wondered whether I could consider working there this summer. I could, but I also mentioned that it would be great if that would lead to something permanent, too. I met the boss. We agreed on the summer schedule and I started to work when my husband could stay at home with Jennifer and Erik - just a few days a week. And then, one of the last days of July, I was offered to continue working there. And I agreed!!! As resigning must be done 3 months in advance here, I'm still going to work 7 weeks at my ward before I will start at my new job in November but I'm absolutely thrilled! I know my guardian angel has been involved in this :) Not only am I going to work about 1,5 km from home (I need to buy a bicycle!), I'm also getting to study an university course over a year, in order to get Asthma/allergy/cronical obstructive lung disease speciality (my second, next to diabetes).

So, if you call me at the Health Centre, I probably look something like this :)